Question from a Teen in my youth group here in Tennessee:
When I was little I was always being told that I had to get dressed up for church. Ive been thinking about it for awhile and it would be nice to get someone else's opinion.Does God really care what it is that I wear when I attend mass, or is he just happy that Im attending mass regardless of the clothes that Im wearing?
Answer:
Well, this may not be a popular answer but here it goes. God does not care what you wear to mass. He (God) just wants you there. The purpose of life is to know, love and serve God. The purpose of life is not to see how many people you can impress at mass or other places with your fancy clothes.
Jesus loves me because He created me, not because I wear or don't wear cool clothes. Of course, all that being said, we should dress respectfully and modeslty at mass, but we should dress respectfully and modestly everywhere if we are Catholics. Remember that we are supposed to glorify God in all we do. We do not glorify God when we dress innapropriately. For girls this means that they shouldn't wear a tube top and an mini skirt to Church (or ever for that matter) and guys, you probably shouldn't wear a pair of cut offs and a "Hooters" tank top to mass. But the important thing is to be there! Many people accused John the Baptist of being a crazy man and they ridiculed and judged him for the way he dressed. Remember that John the Baptist was the one who came to prepare the way of the Lord and he dressed himself in rags.
After reading this answer, some people may accuse me of being too liberal. Oh well. I am ALWAYS glad to see people come to mass regardless of how they are dressed.
Hope that Helps!
Pete
Saturday, December 22, 2007
QUESTION ABOUT SALVATION AND NON CHRISTIANS
A question from one of my favorite teens!
pete, The 1st commandment is i am the lord your god you shall have no other gods besides me. In other words, God is the only one, but this might sound stupid, but what about cultures that believe in mulitple gods and aren't christian, what happen when they die? I know u dont know if someone goes to heaven or not, but how do u think God deals with something like that. I like to think that they go to heaven because our God is a loving god, but wat do u know about this?
Answer:
Good question!
To begin with you have to remember that God is a just and a fair God. He will judge us based upon what we know, not what we don't know. The Holy Catholic Church teaches that because of God's infinite mercy, people who die and have never heard of Jesus can be saved. The Church does not teach that they WILL be saved or that they WON'T be saved, only that because God is merciful and fair they CAN be saved if God so chooses. We believe that because God is a fair God, He will not punish these people just because they had never heard of Jesus Christ and His Holy Catholic Church.
On the flip side, it is important to remember that God WILL punish those who persist in a state of self inflicted ignorance. In other words, those people who refuse to listen to and/or reject the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the dogmas of the Holy Catholic Church. This includes Catholics who knowingly and willfully reject the moral doctrines of the Holy Catholic Church. A good example of this would be a Catholic Politician who knows the Church's teaching on abortion and knows abortion is wrong but continues to vote for "pro-choice" legislation. Or a Catholic married couple that knows the church is opposed to artificial contraception and knows it is wrong but yet continues to use it.
Tough questions and tough answers but very important!
Hope that Helps!
Remember, BE PROUD TO BE CATHOLIC!!!!!
-Pete
pete, The 1st commandment is i am the lord your god you shall have no other gods besides me. In other words, God is the only one, but this might sound stupid, but what about cultures that believe in mulitple gods and aren't christian, what happen when they die? I know u dont know if someone goes to heaven or not, but how do u think God deals with something like that. I like to think that they go to heaven because our God is a loving god, but wat do u know about this?
Answer:
Good question!
To begin with you have to remember that God is a just and a fair God. He will judge us based upon what we know, not what we don't know. The Holy Catholic Church teaches that because of God's infinite mercy, people who die and have never heard of Jesus can be saved. The Church does not teach that they WILL be saved or that they WON'T be saved, only that because God is merciful and fair they CAN be saved if God so chooses. We believe that because God is a fair God, He will not punish these people just because they had never heard of Jesus Christ and His Holy Catholic Church.
On the flip side, it is important to remember that God WILL punish those who persist in a state of self inflicted ignorance. In other words, those people who refuse to listen to and/or reject the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the dogmas of the Holy Catholic Church. This includes Catholics who knowingly and willfully reject the moral doctrines of the Holy Catholic Church. A good example of this would be a Catholic Politician who knows the Church's teaching on abortion and knows abortion is wrong but continues to vote for "pro-choice" legislation. Or a Catholic married couple that knows the church is opposed to artificial contraception and knows it is wrong but yet continues to use it.
Tough questions and tough answers but very important!
Hope that Helps!
Remember, BE PROUD TO BE CATHOLIC!!!!!
-Pete
Friday, December 14, 2007
A QUESTION ABOUT PURGATORY
Question:
Can you explain a little bit about Purgatory? What it is, how long it takes, etc?
Answer:
Sure,No problem.
First of all, Purgatory is a place or process of purification. It is not a place where you atone for sins. It is a place where you are cleansed of the"consequences" of a sin that has already been forgiven. This is a very biblical idea. Remember David? He committed adultery and murder. Did God forgive him? Yes. But what happened? If you remember his son died because of his (David's) sin. Another example is Moses. He doubted God. Did God forgive him? Of Course, but he was never allowed to enter the promised land.
Guilt for our sins is forgiven by God, we cannot atone for eternal consequences of our sins here or in Purgatory, but, we can make repparation or "repair" our relationship with God in a temporal or earthly sense. We can restore fellowship with God. This too is a very biblical idea. There are countless old and new testament references to fasting and praying as a means of restoring fellowship with God. These things do not save us in an eternal sense or atone for our sins in an eternal sense, but they do in a temporal or earthly sense.
Purgatory is where we are cleansed or purified fromthe temporal consequences of sins whose guilt has already been forgiven.
Also, despite much superstition throughout the centuries of Catholicism, the church has never officially defined how long this takes. It may be instantaneous, but one thing is for sure. There is sin on earth and there is no sin in heaven. The idea of being cleansed before entering the throne room of heaven is something that simply makes sense and as catholics we are not disregarding the blood of Christ, or his sacrifice, we are depending on it to cleanse us!
Furthermore, only imperfect souls in a state of grace go to purgatory. It is not a second chance. You cannot stop in purgatory on your way to hell and then somehow, sneak into heaven.
Purgatory is also not an eternal place. It will cease to exist once Jesus comes back.
Finally, it is important to mention that prayers for the dead are nothing new. The jews did (and still do)pray for their dead. In fact, in virtually all cultures there are ceremonies and "prayers" offered for the dead. Just recently we set up a table for day of the dead at the church. I have to admit that there was something reassuring about putting the pictures of my grandfather on that table as a sign that I am trusting his soul to Jesus! It saddens me that for some reason in America we just don't seem to care much about our deceased and many people, even catholics, look down on these kinds of practices.
Anyway, the point is, that the jews did and still do pray for their dead, Jesus was a jew. Jesus prayed for the dead and took part in these rituals as a practicing Jew. Even a cursory glance at the writings of the 1st and 2nd century church fathers shows that this tradition was carried on by the Christians and continues to be carried on to this day in Holy Mother Church.
If you would like some Bible verses that imply theteaching of purgatory or more of an answer than this,please let me know. Also, www.catholic.com hasEXCELLENT resources on this.
Love and Peace with you
Pete
Can you explain a little bit about Purgatory? What it is, how long it takes, etc?
Answer:
Sure,No problem.
First of all, Purgatory is a place or process of purification. It is not a place where you atone for sins. It is a place where you are cleansed of the"consequences" of a sin that has already been forgiven. This is a very biblical idea. Remember David? He committed adultery and murder. Did God forgive him? Yes. But what happened? If you remember his son died because of his (David's) sin. Another example is Moses. He doubted God. Did God forgive him? Of Course, but he was never allowed to enter the promised land.
Guilt for our sins is forgiven by God, we cannot atone for eternal consequences of our sins here or in Purgatory, but, we can make repparation or "repair" our relationship with God in a temporal or earthly sense. We can restore fellowship with God. This too is a very biblical idea. There are countless old and new testament references to fasting and praying as a means of restoring fellowship with God. These things do not save us in an eternal sense or atone for our sins in an eternal sense, but they do in a temporal or earthly sense.
Purgatory is where we are cleansed or purified fromthe temporal consequences of sins whose guilt has already been forgiven.
Also, despite much superstition throughout the centuries of Catholicism, the church has never officially defined how long this takes. It may be instantaneous, but one thing is for sure. There is sin on earth and there is no sin in heaven. The idea of being cleansed before entering the throne room of heaven is something that simply makes sense and as catholics we are not disregarding the blood of Christ, or his sacrifice, we are depending on it to cleanse us!
Furthermore, only imperfect souls in a state of grace go to purgatory. It is not a second chance. You cannot stop in purgatory on your way to hell and then somehow, sneak into heaven.
Purgatory is also not an eternal place. It will cease to exist once Jesus comes back.
Finally, it is important to mention that prayers for the dead are nothing new. The jews did (and still do)pray for their dead. In fact, in virtually all cultures there are ceremonies and "prayers" offered for the dead. Just recently we set up a table for day of the dead at the church. I have to admit that there was something reassuring about putting the pictures of my grandfather on that table as a sign that I am trusting his soul to Jesus! It saddens me that for some reason in America we just don't seem to care much about our deceased and many people, even catholics, look down on these kinds of practices.
Anyway, the point is, that the jews did and still do pray for their dead, Jesus was a jew. Jesus prayed for the dead and took part in these rituals as a practicing Jew. Even a cursory glance at the writings of the 1st and 2nd century church fathers shows that this tradition was carried on by the Christians and continues to be carried on to this day in Holy Mother Church.
If you would like some Bible verses that imply theteaching of purgatory or more of an answer than this,please let me know. Also, www.catholic.com hasEXCELLENT resources on this.
Love and Peace with you
Pete
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
A QUESTION ABOUT SEX AND FORGIVENESS
Question:
My girlfriend and I have been having sex since March. Recently, at a retreat, a few talks that were given really struck us and we have made the decision to go back to be abstinant until marriage.
Obviously, I know my first step is confession. I need to speak to a priest about what's been going on and ask for forgiveness. But the problem lies in my youth minister. I feel that my girlfriend and I should talk to her together about this. We're going to be straight up and honest about it.
My question is: is there anything else to do? I mean, I don't think there's like a checklist or anything that needs to be completed when one sins but I'd like to do what it takes to fully atone.
Any suggestions?
Answer:
I think it is awesome that you and your girlfriend recognize the mistake you made and are going to "change direction" together.
Obviously confession is the first step. Don't wait, go right away. It is important to get back into a state of grace and you need the graces from the sacraments to help you avoid repeating the same mistake.
Second, I would strongly suggest increasing your personal prayer time and if possible, find some time to spend in the adoration chapel each week in the presence of the blessed sacrament. Maybe even spend some time together in adoration each week and pray for the strength to remain chaste as a couple.
Third, in regards to telling someone else. I think it is a good idea to involve 2 other people, 1 man and 1 woman. I think you should talk to an older, strong Catholic man about what happened and I think your girlfriend should talk to a strong Catholic woman as well. The reason I suggest this is that it would be helpful for both of you to have an "accountability" partner who you can touch base with every week and who can help you make sure you don't repeat past mistakes. This person can be a spiritual advisor. It is important for you to be around other "men". Men become men in the company of MEN, not boys or girls. The same goes for your girlfriend. Women become women in the company of WOMEN, not boys or girls. Just be sure the person you choose is a practicing Catholic and that you trust them to respect your privacy and give you sound advice and it should definitely be a man for you and a woman for your girlfriend.
Fourth, I would recommend that you and your girlfriend check out www.pureloveclub.com and read through some of their literature together. You are going to need to set some rules for yourselves as a couple and this site can help.
Lastly, if you feel you are being led to involve your youth minister then that is fine, especially if he/she is around you both on a regular basis and can help keep you accountable as well.
You and your girlfriend are in my prayers
Pete
My girlfriend and I have been having sex since March. Recently, at a retreat, a few talks that were given really struck us and we have made the decision to go back to be abstinant until marriage.
Obviously, I know my first step is confession. I need to speak to a priest about what's been going on and ask for forgiveness. But the problem lies in my youth minister. I feel that my girlfriend and I should talk to her together about this. We're going to be straight up and honest about it.
My question is: is there anything else to do? I mean, I don't think there's like a checklist or anything that needs to be completed when one sins but I'd like to do what it takes to fully atone.
Any suggestions?
Answer:
I think it is awesome that you and your girlfriend recognize the mistake you made and are going to "change direction" together.
Obviously confession is the first step. Don't wait, go right away. It is important to get back into a state of grace and you need the graces from the sacraments to help you avoid repeating the same mistake.
Second, I would strongly suggest increasing your personal prayer time and if possible, find some time to spend in the adoration chapel each week in the presence of the blessed sacrament. Maybe even spend some time together in adoration each week and pray for the strength to remain chaste as a couple.
Third, in regards to telling someone else. I think it is a good idea to involve 2 other people, 1 man and 1 woman. I think you should talk to an older, strong Catholic man about what happened and I think your girlfriend should talk to a strong Catholic woman as well. The reason I suggest this is that it would be helpful for both of you to have an "accountability" partner who you can touch base with every week and who can help you make sure you don't repeat past mistakes. This person can be a spiritual advisor. It is important for you to be around other "men". Men become men in the company of MEN, not boys or girls. The same goes for your girlfriend. Women become women in the company of WOMEN, not boys or girls. Just be sure the person you choose is a practicing Catholic and that you trust them to respect your privacy and give you sound advice and it should definitely be a man for you and a woman for your girlfriend.
Fourth, I would recommend that you and your girlfriend check out www.pureloveclub.com and read through some of their literature together. You are going to need to set some rules for yourselves as a couple and this site can help.
Lastly, if you feel you are being led to involve your youth minister then that is fine, especially if he/she is around you both on a regular basis and can help keep you accountable as well.
You and your girlfriend are in my prayers
Pete
Saturday, December 1, 2007
CATHOLIC TEACHING ON STEM CELL RESEARCH
question:
how do catholics view stem cell research and why?
Answer:
The Catholic Church is not opposed to stem cell research in general. Many scientific and medical advances have been and are being made using stem cells.
However, the Catholic Church is opposed to Embryonic stem cell research because in this type of research viable human embryos are destroyed. This type of research is a direct attack on human life. It devalues human life by telling society the lie that it is ok to take life in order to save life. This is in direct contradiction to Catholic Moral teaching. Remember that in Catholic Moral Theology "the end never justifies the means". In other words, you cannot kill one innocent person in order to save the lives of 100 other people. Furthermore, the Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches that "human life must be protected from the first moment of conception".
The destruction of viable human embryos for the purpose of research and science can never be justified and is considered a moral evil and a grave sin.
Hope that helps!
Remember, true Catholics are Pro Life!
-Pete
how do catholics view stem cell research and why?
Answer:
The Catholic Church is not opposed to stem cell research in general. Many scientific and medical advances have been and are being made using stem cells.
However, the Catholic Church is opposed to Embryonic stem cell research because in this type of research viable human embryos are destroyed. This type of research is a direct attack on human life. It devalues human life by telling society the lie that it is ok to take life in order to save life. This is in direct contradiction to Catholic Moral teaching. Remember that in Catholic Moral Theology "the end never justifies the means". In other words, you cannot kill one innocent person in order to save the lives of 100 other people. Furthermore, the Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches that "human life must be protected from the first moment of conception".
The destruction of viable human embryos for the purpose of research and science can never be justified and is considered a moral evil and a grave sin.
Hope that helps!
Remember, true Catholics are Pro Life!
-Pete
CATHOLIC TEACHING ON SEX IN MARRIAGE
This is an online dialogue that took place between me and a very good friend of mine who I taught in youth group in 8th grade and then sponsored for Confirmation when he was in 11th grade. He is now a successful young man living in Europe. His words are in italics and mine are in standard print.
Hey Pete,So I know I'm a ways off from marriage, but I don't have a catechism near, and I'd like to hear your opinion also. In recent homilies I have heard two different priests talk about sex in marriage. Without being "open to life," I interpreted that sex, even in a "healthy" catholic marriage, is sinful. I kind of have a hard time with this, as sex is a big enough challenge in my life as it is, but I'm not going to lie, I was hoping that in marriage the rules might be a little bit more "relaxed," if you will. I don't know if that makes any sense to you or not. Feel free to answer this in a blog, or just to me, but I would appreciate the input.
This is tough teaching that is tough to answer in a short written format but I will do my best.
There is a wealth of information online from good catholic sources about sex in marriage. The best stuff to read is Pope John Paul II's Theology of the body.
The general rule is that sex in marriage needs to be open to procreation. In more graphic terms, this means that when a married couple has sex, they must end the act with the man ejaculating inside his wife's vagina. This doesn't mean that various kinds of foreplay or other sexual pleasure are forbidden (such as oral sex, manual stimulation, etc) but only that the act must end with the husband releasing his "seed" inside his wife's vagina.
To begin to understand this you must remember; what is the purpose of sex? Why did God give us "sex"?
The first purpose of sex is procreation, the second is bonding with one's spouse so that the two can become one flesh. When you take either of these things out of sex, it perverts the reason God gave us sex. For example, the Church is against In Vitro fertilization because it removes the "bonding" (the sex act) from the act of procreation. With In Vitro Fertilization, life is created without sex. This is a sin.
The Church also prohibits contraception because it removes the possibility of procreation (creating life) from the act of sex. Artificial birth control can never be justified under any situation in a marriage. It is a mortal sin.
Just remember that sex in marriage must have the act itself and the possibility of creating new life.
I will stop here and let you respond before I go too far. Does this make sense? If not, what can I explain to clear things up.
It does... kinda. I don't want to get too personal in this, obviously. But for instance, I know that my dad had a vasectomy. My mom in my eyes is a devout good hearted Catholic. Although it can be a little weird to talk about, I'm sure that their sex life isn't stagnant. On the personal side, and I really don't want to be offensive so forgive me in advance for even going here, but you and Jamie have been married for awhile now, and to my knowledge the only "kids" you have are your dogs. Again, I don't mean to get too personal, so I apologize. However, I am confused. And a friend of mine, who was "raised a catholic" and whom I am trying to get to come deeper into the faith, is getting married in January. His wife is Catholic as well, but I know they have had sex (with each other only, not that it makes a difference.) He heard one of these homilies and almost took offense. In fact, he hasn't been to church since. I know it's tough and I probably need to talk to a priest or someone, but I honestly want the opinion of a married Catholic who's advice I feel I can count on.
There are several different questions that you have in this email. I will do my best to address them. Don't worry about getting too personal. You aren't going to offend me and if I am going to have a website that says I will answer any question then I had better do it! Here are a couple short answers, feel free to call me if these don't help.
1. Vasectomies and Hysterectomies for the purpose of birth control are against Church teaching. They are considered a mortal sin. Remember for a sin to be mortal three conditions must apply. First, the sin has to be grave matter. Second, the person has to do it of their own free will (they can't be forced into it). Third, the person must have significant time for reflection. In other words, they must know it is a mortal sin and choose to do it anyway. Getting back to the answer now. In some situations, such as for the pupose of health (ovarian cancer, other female problems, etc) a hysterectomy can be permitted but never for the purpose of birth control. Also, if one spouse is not Catholic and the other is, the Catholic spouse is not sinning by having sex with their spouse even if that spouse has had a vasectomy or a hysterectomy. This also applies for artificial contraception. If a Catholic man has a non-Catholic wife that takes "the pill", he is not sinning by having sex with his wife but he should let her know that he feels it is wrong to use artificial birth control.
2. Jaime and I have been trying to have kids for about 3 years and have been unsuccesful. Before that we used NFP (Natural Family Planning) which is ok in the eyes of the church if you have a good reason. I'm not sure if we had a good reason or not but Jaime wasn't Catholic and we both agreed that artificial birth control is evil (as the church teaches) and we were not going to use it anymore (we used it our first year of marriage before either of us were catholic). Incidentally, part of the reason we may not be able to have kids could be because the "pill" may have done some damage to Jaime. Hmmmm. Perhaps the church teaching makes sense, eh? Interesting how we never hear about these things from the servants of the devil over at Planned Parenthood when they are selling their lies to teens.
3. Regardless of how people "feel" about it. Sex in marriage needs to be open to life and unity. There are VERY good reasons for this. Pope Paul VI issued "Humanae Vitae" and it was so controversial that people were literally exiting the Catholic church left and right. In it he condemned artificial birth control as well as abortion and other attacks on human life. Some of the things the Church said in response to the criticisms he received were "if you want to treat sex as a toy then be prepared for an increase in abortion, an increase in divorce, an increase in pornography, an increase in adultery, etc" Here we are over 50 years later and what do we have? All of these things and then some! Perhaps the Church is not so dumb after all.
Sex is not a toy. It is ordained by God to be between a man and a woman in the sacrament of marriage. Its first purpose is procreation and its second is unity/bonding of the spouses. This is TOUGH teaching but it is necessary. If you lower the bar on this teaching, well, we have seen where that can lead.
When Catholics hear this teaching and respond with things like "God should stay out of my bedroom". Well, I just ask them, "then why do you want to get married in the Church?" "Is marriage a sacrament or not?" Remember that a sacrament is a physical way of receiving God's grace and marriage is a covenent between you, your spouse and God. I hope that helps.
Well everything you just said makes a world of sense to me. It actually answers more than I was expecting. However, I too would like to talk to you on the phone more about it. A friend of mine is using my phone right now, but either tonight or this weekend sometime I will try to get in touch with you. Thanks again, Pete, and I'll talk to you later.
No problem, glad I could help.
-Pete
Hey Pete,So I know I'm a ways off from marriage, but I don't have a catechism near, and I'd like to hear your opinion also. In recent homilies I have heard two different priests talk about sex in marriage. Without being "open to life," I interpreted that sex, even in a "healthy" catholic marriage, is sinful. I kind of have a hard time with this, as sex is a big enough challenge in my life as it is, but I'm not going to lie, I was hoping that in marriage the rules might be a little bit more "relaxed," if you will. I don't know if that makes any sense to you or not. Feel free to answer this in a blog, or just to me, but I would appreciate the input.
This is tough teaching that is tough to answer in a short written format but I will do my best.
There is a wealth of information online from good catholic sources about sex in marriage. The best stuff to read is Pope John Paul II's Theology of the body.
The general rule is that sex in marriage needs to be open to procreation. In more graphic terms, this means that when a married couple has sex, they must end the act with the man ejaculating inside his wife's vagina. This doesn't mean that various kinds of foreplay or other sexual pleasure are forbidden (such as oral sex, manual stimulation, etc) but only that the act must end with the husband releasing his "seed" inside his wife's vagina.
To begin to understand this you must remember; what is the purpose of sex? Why did God give us "sex"?
The first purpose of sex is procreation, the second is bonding with one's spouse so that the two can become one flesh. When you take either of these things out of sex, it perverts the reason God gave us sex. For example, the Church is against In Vitro fertilization because it removes the "bonding" (the sex act) from the act of procreation. With In Vitro Fertilization, life is created without sex. This is a sin.
The Church also prohibits contraception because it removes the possibility of procreation (creating life) from the act of sex. Artificial birth control can never be justified under any situation in a marriage. It is a mortal sin.
Just remember that sex in marriage must have the act itself and the possibility of creating new life.
I will stop here and let you respond before I go too far. Does this make sense? If not, what can I explain to clear things up.
It does... kinda. I don't want to get too personal in this, obviously. But for instance, I know that my dad had a vasectomy. My mom in my eyes is a devout good hearted Catholic. Although it can be a little weird to talk about, I'm sure that their sex life isn't stagnant. On the personal side, and I really don't want to be offensive so forgive me in advance for even going here, but you and Jamie have been married for awhile now, and to my knowledge the only "kids" you have are your dogs. Again, I don't mean to get too personal, so I apologize. However, I am confused. And a friend of mine, who was "raised a catholic" and whom I am trying to get to come deeper into the faith, is getting married in January. His wife is Catholic as well, but I know they have had sex (with each other only, not that it makes a difference.) He heard one of these homilies and almost took offense. In fact, he hasn't been to church since. I know it's tough and I probably need to talk to a priest or someone, but I honestly want the opinion of a married Catholic who's advice I feel I can count on.
There are several different questions that you have in this email. I will do my best to address them. Don't worry about getting too personal. You aren't going to offend me and if I am going to have a website that says I will answer any question then I had better do it! Here are a couple short answers, feel free to call me if these don't help.
1. Vasectomies and Hysterectomies for the purpose of birth control are against Church teaching. They are considered a mortal sin. Remember for a sin to be mortal three conditions must apply. First, the sin has to be grave matter. Second, the person has to do it of their own free will (they can't be forced into it). Third, the person must have significant time for reflection. In other words, they must know it is a mortal sin and choose to do it anyway. Getting back to the answer now. In some situations, such as for the pupose of health (ovarian cancer, other female problems, etc) a hysterectomy can be permitted but never for the purpose of birth control. Also, if one spouse is not Catholic and the other is, the Catholic spouse is not sinning by having sex with their spouse even if that spouse has had a vasectomy or a hysterectomy. This also applies for artificial contraception. If a Catholic man has a non-Catholic wife that takes "the pill", he is not sinning by having sex with his wife but he should let her know that he feels it is wrong to use artificial birth control.
2. Jaime and I have been trying to have kids for about 3 years and have been unsuccesful. Before that we used NFP (Natural Family Planning) which is ok in the eyes of the church if you have a good reason. I'm not sure if we had a good reason or not but Jaime wasn't Catholic and we both agreed that artificial birth control is evil (as the church teaches) and we were not going to use it anymore (we used it our first year of marriage before either of us were catholic). Incidentally, part of the reason we may not be able to have kids could be because the "pill" may have done some damage to Jaime. Hmmmm. Perhaps the church teaching makes sense, eh? Interesting how we never hear about these things from the servants of the devil over at Planned Parenthood when they are selling their lies to teens.
3. Regardless of how people "feel" about it. Sex in marriage needs to be open to life and unity. There are VERY good reasons for this. Pope Paul VI issued "Humanae Vitae" and it was so controversial that people were literally exiting the Catholic church left and right. In it he condemned artificial birth control as well as abortion and other attacks on human life. Some of the things the Church said in response to the criticisms he received were "if you want to treat sex as a toy then be prepared for an increase in abortion, an increase in divorce, an increase in pornography, an increase in adultery, etc" Here we are over 50 years later and what do we have? All of these things and then some! Perhaps the Church is not so dumb after all.
Sex is not a toy. It is ordained by God to be between a man and a woman in the sacrament of marriage. Its first purpose is procreation and its second is unity/bonding of the spouses. This is TOUGH teaching but it is necessary. If you lower the bar on this teaching, well, we have seen where that can lead.
When Catholics hear this teaching and respond with things like "God should stay out of my bedroom". Well, I just ask them, "then why do you want to get married in the Church?" "Is marriage a sacrament or not?" Remember that a sacrament is a physical way of receiving God's grace and marriage is a covenent between you, your spouse and God. I hope that helps.
Well everything you just said makes a world of sense to me. It actually answers more than I was expecting. However, I too would like to talk to you on the phone more about it. A friend of mine is using my phone right now, but either tonight or this weekend sometime I will try to get in touch with you. Thanks again, Pete, and I'll talk to you later.
No problem, glad I could help.
-Pete
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